the cutest conversation

We were in NYC for a few days visiting Ibraheem and Imraan's cousin, Emaan who is 5 years old. They had a great time together; bonded well. At one point, I overheard the cutest conversation, absolutely bloggable.

The backdrop of this conversation is Canal Street, after stopping at a kiosk and watching someone smoke.

"Topic: Things that Muslims don't eat during Ramadan"
E: We don't eat pork, and smoking is very bad.
I: What is smoking? Yeah smoking is yucky. its like dirt.
I: And we don't eat gelatin and carmine, we don't eat that either. And pig too.
E: That is pork.
I: So the things we don't eat during ramadan is carmine and gelatin, smoking and pork.
E: Yeah

the unedited version...

been a while since my last posting.

i wanted to blog this before it became a distant memory.

i took the boys to the grocery store, and while i loaded up the single stroller with food, both of them were walking very nicely next to me. imraan even held my hand for good measure. we went on a thursday morning, when bus loads of seniors come to the grocery store to check out the new sales. as we stroll through the aisles, ibraheem proudly states to me, "mama, everyone in this store is old except you." as i burst out in sheer laughter, he is unfazed by his comment and they both head towards the coffee beans to 'smell' each flavor. spared myself from a coffee bean mess, and of near embarrassment, we were done with the grocery store for the day.

here they are in october.

corrected spellings...

This how Ibraheem thinks we should spell the following words/names:

Omr = Omar
Imron = Imraan
Emn = Emaan

Kauai 06 (temporary viewing place)

 

silly boys

Sooo much time has passed and they've grown so much. Ibu has really embraced his role as an older brother and loves it. Loves to buckle Ima's seatbelt, loves to announce where mommy is, help with setting the table and getting them both snacks and drinks, and loves to wake him up from his nap. Ima has learned to talk at lightning speed. He says the funniest things. Mostly funny because he has no idea of the meaning of his words (or does he?). Things like:

1 - want to watch something...robots (where in the world does he get this idea from?)
2- oh my god look at that
3- 'kids meal i want kids meal' - gee i wonder where he learned that from. also, he sits on my side of the car so he sees all the drive-thru interactions. even if its drive thru coffee, i hear the little nut behind me saying, chicken! chicken! and once i pulled into my friends subdivision's gatehouse, he started saying, chicken! chicken! yeah yeah, i get the hint.
4- we pass by panera and he always says, "mocha store". which is so random because we rarely eat there!

* they say that by the age of 2, toddlers can recognize about 200 logos/advertisements. So on the highway, far and away he will see a sign for McD and yell out, CHICKEN!!!!!

Ibu says some pretty silly things too. Mostly adult-like so it just comes off as cute from a soon-to-be 4 year old. He says:

"mommy can you call up a friend to meet me at the bookstore?"
"mommy, start driving and i'll just hop in"

they play very well together, altho ibu gets distracted by ima's feet and starts squeezing them until imraan squeals in anguish and frustration. hopefully winter weather will reduce the amount of annoyance this causes imraan.

they don't like to be separated, but we still do it semi-regularly to keep it fresh.

Morton Arboretum 6/06, with our dear friends


 

all 5 of us, healthy, reunited after a long time! 

6/06 

A decade of 3's

In February, I turned 30, and finally had the opportunity to be inspired and contemplate on my last decade.....

June 2006

about 10 years ago i...
1. experienced independence from home
2. learned a lot about people & relationships
3. met my life partner

about 9 years ago i...
1. got engaged to my life partner
2. started my first real job in the accounting world at KPMG
3. got glasses

about 8 years ago i...
1. married my life partner
2. reevaluated the term 'independence' within marriage
3. learned an entirely new meaning of self-sacrifice

about 7 years ago i...
1. still had no idea who or what i was emotionally and spiritually
2. wondered if i was ever going to pass the CPA exam
3. pondered life, and companionship

about 6 years ago i...
1. finally passed the CPA exam
2. left KPMG for Ernst & Young - wasn't feeling the love
3. travelled to Puerto Rico and St. Lucia

about 5 years ago i...
1. travelled with my husband to Pakistan, and then some other places
2. watched a plane crash into a building in the name of my belief system
3. knew i had to do something to work towards world peace and social justice

about 4 years ago i...
1. left the jaded corporate world; guess someone figured me out
2. became involved in human rights work in schools with Amnesty Int'l
3. gave birth to my son Ibraheem

about 3 years ago i...
1. decided that public health was my new calling in life
2. completed the Landmark Education Forum with my husband
3. confronted people and issues i was fearful of dealing with before

about 2 years ago i...
1. travelled to Hawaii, Puerto Rico, and Cozumel and snorkelled for the first time
2. finally figured myself out
3. gave birth to my son Imraan

about 1 year ago i...
1. came close & personal with the devastation and destruction of cancer
2. considered the attachment and the frivolousnes of our short-term lives in the physical world
3. wondered, how can i protect my kids from everything disgraceful and painful?

today i...
1. recognize & treasure all of my blessings
2. focus on each day wholly and separately
3. teach my sons to stop and smell the flowers while we take the long way home.

Terrible 3's, not terrible 2's!

I have found Ibu's behavior at 3 to be more trying than he was at 2. Whoever coined the term terrible two, must have had a rude awakening at 3! At least for us here, and the word around the playgroup circle is that 3 year old boys are difficult. So I am determined to get to the bottom of this and develop a new strategy. (watch him read this 20 years from now and laugh at me!).

Where we have to do some work is along the lines of communication with others, and his reaction to certain events where he feels hurt. I have decided that reminding myself not to enter any verbal battles with him is tantamount to preventing further drama. No need for me to say the last word, because I already have the last word - I'm the parent. So when I hear some talking back of some sort, I will not try to evict him from the room, but rather constructively help him to 'find a better way to say XYZ'.

Regarding feelings. The preschool stage is when the really learn how to express different emotions, and will experiment with them all day. Feelings of love gush from him daily, as do affirmations of hurt or broken ones. What is most important is to first acknowledge the feeling of hurt, anger, frustration, sadness, whatever. And to next try to ascertain what brought him into that stage in the first place. A lot of times we can sort of rework his feelings that way, but many a time, profuse statements of how his feelings are hurt/broken can seem endless. That's when you know it's a bigger issue that needs to be addressed at a non-sensitive time. **we always have this thing together where I say, let's 'do talking', and we talk about whatever is on his mind. we've done that for over a year and he loves the chance to talk about the most random things.**

Also, what is important to also get through his head is some sort of diplomacy, and that not everyone needs to hear everything all the time.

Granted, we have a long way to go on that.............

how life changes

A long time has passed since my last posting. I felt inspired lately, watching my kids do and say amazing things. Ima is about 20 months and is speaking in semi-broken sentences, saying the likes of:
'i don't want to...do neenee'
'canihaveit.......peees?'
'im tired'
'eat........yogurt........peaches'
'ibu..canihaveit........ball?'

and more, but mostly it's so amazing to see him interact with his older brother. they are inseparable. we try to separate them occasionally for hours, the goal being an overnight apart, but usually after 4-5 hours, Ibu is crying, missing his little brother. Meanwhile, Ima is getting down to work on his train track, without any distractions. It's so natural for kids to have company like this, that I just pray they are this close and caring with each other for life. We are trying to instill life-long values of respect, sharing, and individuality. It has also been amazing to watch Ima skip a lot of whta Ibu went through, simply because he is a younger sibling.

until later.....

Muja goes to the dentist

Muja goes to the dentist.

One night, after dinner, Muja asked his mommy for a chocolate creme cookie. Mommy said, no Muja, you cannot have a chocolate cookie because its bedtime and you already brushed your teeth. Muja did not obey his mommy's rules and took a cookie without asking. He went to sleep without brushing his teeth. The next morning when he woke, he had icky-sticky stuff in his teeth, and he was scared! He told his mommy about his teeth and his mommy said, uh-oh, I think we have to go to the dentist! Muja said, oh no! the dentist! What will happen there? They went to the dentist, and Muja sat in the waiting room. He was wondering how the dentist will fix his icky-sticky teeth. So he sat on the chair and the dentist took a big toothbrush with toothpaste and while Muja was lying down in the chair the dentist brushed his teeth. He showed Muja how to brush properly. Then Muja was so happy that he learned how to brush his teeth properly and also learned that after your mommy says not to eat something, you should not eat anything. Otherwise you'll get icky-sticky stuff in your teeth if you eat and do not brush. He showed his teeth to his mama and she was really happy. Then the dentist told Muja to select a toy as a reward. He picked a bouncing ball from the toy box and went home.

wherever

conversation btw ibu and me, which originated as a conversation btw omar and me, of course interrupted by ibu:

Ibu: do you know where she got it from?
i dont know, that's why i asked daddy
Ibu: you do know where, because I dont know where
no, i don't know where its from
Ibu: you know where its from because i don't know where its from

stuff to do when there are 2

I thought i'd start a thread on 'things to do'. Our
household juggles a soon-to-be 1 year old and
soon-to-be 3 year old (AND he just started preschool
**sniff, sniff**).  So we have to manage our playtime
wisely and select age-appropriate activities.  Here
are just a couple things we love.

Puzzles: We love puzzles made by Ravensburger and
Melissa and Doug, if you are into puzzles, you'll
appreciate teh durability of these brands.  There is
another brand called Learning Horizons, and we have a
lot of their stuff: matching, sequencing, puzzles, and
more.  Ibraheem really enjoys doing all of these
learning activities.

Books: I started keeping all his books in a wicker
laundry basket so he can see the cover of the book,
since obviously he can't read hte spine of the book.
While Imraan is mostly consumed with board books
(SANDRA BOYNTON ROCKS), Ibraheem loves story books:
Franklin, Dora and other fun tales.  Another series we
just discovered is called Elmer, and we found 2 of
these books with Urdu translation, which helps him
learn word association and me to read urdu!

Pretend play:  We love play-doh and also have a play
food set (melissa and doug).  we love to imagine going
to the grocery store (we have a little stroller for
him) and he loves to pretend he owns a cafe and makes
food on demand for anyone passing by.  (wouldn't that
be grand!).  I also set up the indoor tent a lot which
is something they can do together!

Life with 2 is dynamic and challenging.  We have made
an effort to encourage Ibraheem to teach his younger
brother things like, throwing a ball, peekaboo, hide
and seek, and other things that can keep the 2 of them
busy for 15-20 minutes.  He's really good abotu
sharing and giving him food.  It was certainly
difficult at first, but we've learned that its best to
give the older sibling an important role to play with
the new baby.

For me, I've been keeping a blog (albeit, i'm
extremely behind), taking lots of video and photos and
that's always a fun activity later: watching old
times!




_____________________________

part two and a half

"Mama, don't change my diaper, its very allergic to change my diaper."

"I am so glad I have Imraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan"

Daddy says, Ibu, this car is majorly broken. Ibu says, Daddy, Ima is majorly silly.

Imraan kicheri

If you give mama a mocha

Happy Mother's (and Mother's to be) Day!!

If you give mama a mocha....

...she will sneak to her bedroom to indulge in her cafe mocha and plan for a shower. She's overwhelmed by the pile of clean laundry sleeping on her bed that needs folding. This will remind her to put the clothes sitting in the washer into the dryer before they start to smell of mildew. Then she decides that so long as she's in the laundry room, she may as well start a new load. As she looks around for socks and bibs, she finds mail that fell behind the shoe shelf and finds a bill that is due in one day. She sits down in front of her computer to pay the bill and remembers she needs to order a new water filter for the fridge. Note to self: remember to use the child-lock on the water dispenser! Let's see, what's for dinner tonight? She takes out a pound of chicken to be defrosted and ponders, grilled chicken (again)? At least it's healthy. Thoughts of healthiness remind her of the brownies she made the night before that would taste heavenly with her now-cold mocha. She converts it to an iced mocha and reaches for a plate for her brownie. Oh dear, time to reload the dishwasher. This will just take a few minutes she convinces herself. After she's done, she remembers she needs to refill the napkin and paper towel holders and decides that on the way to the garage, may as well empty out the garbage. On the way to the garage she finds more garbage that can fill up the bag. She's back in the house and checks the time. In the few minutes before her toddler wakes up and proclaims a renewed level of energy, she abandons her iced mocha, her plans for lunch and plops down on the sofa. Only to hear a few minutes later, 'Mama, I woke up. Where are you?'

And so the day continues....not to mention the chances for a shower.....

By Ayesha Akhtar

based on "If you Give a Mouse a Cookie by Laura Numeroff

Strange Toddler Behavior

We all know about those terrible 2's. How bad, really? Well, its not that its 'bad', per se, just strange. Peculiar.
How does he get the idea to do that/say that/eat that/wear that/play with that/want that in the first place??

* He won't drink from a cup unless it is completely full to the rim. (This is not fun for mama or daddy).
* He will extort guests into giving him highly-coveted snacks from the pantry, and say it with gusto allowing no guest to refuse his sweet phrase, "auntie XYZ, I have an idea, I want some goldfish!!".
* He is the only one allowed to turn the page of a book. Even if that means he has to come to me from across the room while I'm reading a book to the baby.
* He won't sit down to eat his snack unless every part of the bottom of the bowl is covered.
* He claims that his socks hurt if they are not on properly, ie, seams must be in place.
* He will not eat food that is mixed together, ie, peas with corn is a no-no. Must be peas on one side and corn on the other.
* He will not eat french fries that have the potato peel on them, he claims they make him cough (although I've never heard him coughing after eating them).
* He drinks the bath water :(

These days...

Our son is a huge U2 fan. He can tell you the name of a song within the first 5 seconds. He can distinguish guitars between the Edge and Clayton. At the drop of a hat, he can belt out Elevation or Stuck in a Moment. Still not quite sure what just happened in the past 2 weeks, but the kid is a musical genius!!


Some funny things he's been known to say/do or phrases overheard:
* Whenever I pull out imraan's food, he'll pull up a chair and a spoon and dig in. The kid likes pureed sweet potatoes, all over again.
* Mama, I have a problem, my truck is broken.
* I'm so sad, I broke the frother......as he throws his head in his hands.
* I just noticed Daddy put Miffy on.

The story about his Booster seat:
* While on mama's cell, leaving babies r us, Daddy, can you give us a ticket for a booster seat, the one at babies r us is too much money and we have to get a different one from Target.
Now the booster seat is at home:
* Daddy, I am going to target with mama to get a new booster seat for me because that one (pointing to the high chair) is too small for me.
Now assembled and I overheard heard him say:
* Allah ta'allah, can you please help me get on the booster seat, its too hard for me. Please Allah help me. Classic.

Park Etiquette?

OK so "park season" is nearly here, and I think its time to re-hash the rules and etiquette of playing in the park. The other day, I received a rude comment from a mother who behind my back said that a good mom brings toys to the park for everyone to play, seeing that I had nothing that day.

Infuriating? of course! especially since we usually arrive to the park with a wagon full of sandbox toys and didn't happen to do so that day. Further, the parks we go to generally have 'donated' sandbox toys that implies a system of good faith by every parent who leaves the toys there for everyone else to play with.

Rule #1: If you bring a toy to the park, expect others to want to play with it and instill in your child the idea of 'taking turns'. Sharing is very elusive at the tender age of 2 (by 3 they should be able to take turns automatically), because children don't understand that once they leave a toy, it is a free for all. They simply think they are 'just not playing with it right now but will shortly'. Taking turns is more concrete and you can allow the child to take control of the situation by saying, right now I'm playing with this truck (always a truck), when I'm done I will give it to you. Believe me, it works. I would also venture to say that 3 out of 5 times, Ibu himself has given up playing with something and just says, here you go and he is done.

Rule #2: You don't always have to share with strangers. I have wavered on this dozens of times and have decided that its not necessary to share or expect to have someone offer toys to you if you are not friends. In our adult life, I don't expect this and I don't want him to have unreasonable expectations. Sharing with friends or little kids that are playing side by side is a different story, but bring toys to the playground that get pounced on by older kids who run away with them is not my idea of fair.

Rule #3: Don't be a swing hog, give others a turn, or double up your kids if you can/have to. Enough said.

Rule #4: Clean up after yourself, kids watch everything in the park and will pick up on leaving a mess behind.

Rule #5: Obviously, have a great time yourself! Its a perfect place for playdates, to make new friends and playmates and just to have a little picnic.

Enjoy the outdoors!

The Flouride Debate

Recently brought to my attention, dental flourosis is a serious issue. The ADA defines it as a change in the appearance of teeth and is caused when higher than optimal amounts of fluoride are ingested in early childhood while tooth enamel is forming. The risk of dental fluorosis can be greatly reduced by closely monitoring the proper use of fluoride products by young children. Instead of ensuring your child gets a pea-sized portion of toothpaste, uses it properly and spits it out (which I find to be a task every day), its better to avoid the whole enamel-damage issue and use toothpaste that has no flouride in it.


Good toothpaste to use: Tom's of Main - flouride free